The Axe Throwing Guy
Hello fellow potential axe murderers, I am back again after a brief hiatus and I promise I wasn't on any axe murdering spree👀Since we are in the season of everything jolly aka the most annoying and pretentious time of the year I just thought I should let everyone know of not only a new offering that we have but also a kick ass market that was recently launched in Stellenbosch. Ladies and gentleman I would like to introduce you to Brickfields Market:
This was filmed at the time of closing so mind the lack of asses on seats.
You are probably asking yourself a very pertinent question: "What day is it plus why should I go to this "new" market, I've already gone to enough markets in my life, what's different about this one?" That's about three questions actually but we will answer the last two. Brickfields isn't just any old boring market as we've already pointed out in the title that WOW is there in full force (more on that later) but there are plenty of other reasons why you should visit the place at least eleven times. Firstly there is a secure play area for children, this is important for adults who are seeking some day time fun without the rugrats getting in the way of that, just drop them off in the "kiddy circle" and leave them enjoying X's and O's, some game where you throw rings on a stick, a jumping castle or you can let them slide down a tiny little hill within the market (seriously, this is a thing).
Now that we've addressed the issue of where to leave the kids here's what YOU can enjoy afterwards, as you enter the market you are welcomed by coconuts and I'm not talking about black people who pretend to be white, I'm talking about some random dudes that crack coconuts in half while you watch and sell it to you as a coconut cocktail! The market has an outdoor and indoor seating area and once you are inside the market you are enveloped within a variety of aromas emanating from various food stalls. We won't delve much into the food aspect as I'm trying to lose weight at the moment and just writing that one food sentence made me gain a few calories😒. In between all of the action, Brickfields has different bands and singers that play at the market during the day. You can also look forward to dance classes, if you've ever wanted to learn how to tango then this is your sign and once in a while a mobile pet grooming service pops up at the market. Treat your gold fish to a manicure (assuming you have a mutated goldfish that has hands and feet).
Finally we get to the paragraph I've been looking forward to type the whole damn time, POP UP AXE THROWING AT BRICKFIELDS MARKET! We probably may have made a little history here as this one of two markets in the world where you can find axe throwing, the only other one is Artbox Night Market Nana in Bangkok, Thailand which I only found out about last night when I googled "ladyboys". So if you ever hear of someone else starting a pop up axe throwing venture at any other market in South Africa just know that they are shameless copycats who don't have a single shred of creativity or dignity who deserve to have an axe thrown at them because we did it first!😎. We fondly refer to our pop up as WOW Weekend and the concept is simple: We offer one FREE throw for everyone and then after that you have the following options:
NB: This is not a poster advertising some rave party in Valhalla
You read right...you don't just throw axes for nothing at all...if you happen to be accurate and precise at tossing projectiles, once you hit a killshot (the tiny dots that are on the left and right of the target), you get to walk away with a special prize, that prize could be anything from an axe to a Brickfields voucher. So far we are yet to find a mortal with killshot hitting ability, who knows, it just might be you who read this bloody article right til' the end. Catch WOW Weekend at the market every Saturday & Sunday and we will soon be starting the WOW League, the first axe throwing league in Cape Town. You can sign up for that by sending us an email on email@example.com. Until next article we'll see you at Brickfields!